Four months passed since I last updated this blog and I never thought I would ever come here again in all honesty. Right now are 6:35 a.m. and I had to jumped outta bed because I couldn't sleep anymore. It's been the worst summer of my life because my cat died 30 days ago. Even so that is not reason why I'm here. I'm here because I was thinking about you. Your cat died too not that much ago and then mine died so I decided to talk to you. To be honest I don't know why I talked to you in that day. I only told that my cat died to the most important people. Anyway you answered "I don't help anyone why would I help you" if I remember well, I don't remember the rest and I can't go check since i deleted both the conversation and your number. Is not that you were wrong but I didn't had courage to talk to you since that day. I think I finaly realize how much of a "nobody" I am to you for some reason. I don't understand why this bothers me so much still. Why after so many months since we start talking their are still nights like this that you haunt my thoughts. Maybe because I saw some prints from what we used to be and now I don't believe in your "I just had enough of you that's why I changed." It doesn't make sence how quick it happened. I feel like there are too different persons inside of you. One of them is the "Actually I care and I always did" and the other one is the "I don't help anyone why would I help you" they just fused in what is you today, what you call a "bitch." And damn, the first one makes me feel weird. I'm reading our dms from march 27, 28 and 29 and I can't understand. But welp, too late now. Not only are you not gonna see this but I'm neither gonna show you or talk about it with you. I don't see us talking anytime soo unless the weak person that I am gives up and talks to you. That or if you send me a message and we both know that is not gonna happened. Sadly I do miss you, I wish you came to talk to me and just be honest like you were in those dms and show me again that "you" that intrigued me so much. Who am I to you?
PS. If I could go back a month ago when we hang out. I would hug you for sure.
